As a mom, there is a lot of advice out there online and people telling you how you should raise your baby, especially when it comes to sleep. There is a new trend in hiring sleep consultants, buying sleep sacks and swaddles, using black out blinds and not creating negative sleep associations. I’m here to tell you to forget all of that. This is the very best baby sleep advice no one will give you but you NEED to hear.
Our sleep(less) story
When my son was born, my husband and I joked about how we get why sleep depravation was used as a form of torture. Jackson NEVER slept. It made me wonder where the term “sleeping like a baby” came from. He was wide awake and bright-eyed all day long. He rarely napped. And you can forget about bedtime. I thought there had to be something wrong with him. Or there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t able to get him to sleep.
I did what you are doing right now and took to the internet. I got lost in the abundance of information. The internet schooled me on everything I was doing wrong: sleep schedules, awake times, how much sleep he should be getting, how to swaddle, get blackout curtains, white noise, and the perfect room temperature. It made me CRAZY.
Everyday I showed my husband my latest purchase that should help our son sleep according to the internet. I had a phone call with a sleep consultant and worked on negative sleep associations. The room was dark, filled with with noise and the perfect temperature. And I’ll tell you something, after ALL of that, he still didn’t sleep.
Do you know when my son slept? When he was safe, snuggled into my arms, hearing his mamas heartbeat he knew from the womb. I promise that this will be the best sleep advice no one will give you but me.
I wish someone would have told me to put my phone down. To stop Googling and stop trying to force my son to sleep according to the articles online. I wish someone would have told me that he is going to grow faster than I can possibles imagine. My son is 18 months now, and he sleeps. He takes a two hour nap everyday, goes to bed on his own and sleeps 11 hours a night.
The best baby sleep advice no one will give you but you need to hear
You are the mama. No one will know your baby better than you do, so you need to trust your instincts. Do what works for you, and forget everyone who wants to share their advice. Your baby was just pushed out into this big, brand new world. The fourth trimester is hard. It takes months for your baby to understand that he isn’t in the womb anymore. What your baby does know is you.
He knows how you smell and that you give him milk. Your baby knows your heartbeat from the inside and feels safe being close. He knows your arms are a safe place to sleep. A cold, new bed feels scary and unsafe.
What you know is that you haven’t showered in three days and that you are beyond tired. You have dinner to make, and you aren’t sure if you are doing this mama thing right. If you could just get your baby to sleep alone with the new sleep advice you read, you’d get so much more done.
What I know is that your baby will grow faster than you can ever imagine. You will one day be rocking your baby. and the next day he will be taking his first steps. You will Google so much about motherhood and raising a baby that you will forget that you are already doing it.
Here is the baby sleep advice that no one will give you. That advice is to stop taking advice. Stop reading about getting your baby to sleep and the vest way to do it. You don’t need to hire a sleep consultant. You don’t need to buy another swaddle or noise machine. Stop worrying about sleep associations and rocking or nursing your baby to sleep.
I know you are tired! I was there too and will be there again in a few months!
Your baby will sleep when he is tired and feels safe. Rock, hold and love your baby. Give him the safety and cuddles that he needs. The more you hold and love him and give him reassurance that you are there for him, the more he will know that when you do put him down, if he needs you, you’ll be there to pick him back up.
Don’t worry about anything else! If your baby needs held to sleep or rocked or nursed, do it and enjoy every minute of it. One day soon he won’t need your nursing and rocking anymore, and you will miss it.
Obviously you have things to do and can’t sit and hold you baby all day long. You probably want to eat, brush your teeth or whatever else! Snag one of these best and most affordable baby carriers. Let your baby feel your love and warmth while he sleeps and you can get things done!
When baby and you are ready, create you perfect nighttime routine. Use this guide to start getting the rest you both need!
Like this post? Pin it for later!
Thank you for this. After all the restless nights and cries from stress. Reading this really helped. I’m so grateful to be a mom to a beautiful little girl and this article reassured me that things will be okay! ❤️
I’m so glad it helped you Catie! Motherhood can be so hard but you have to go with your gut and do what works! We coslept a lot to get the sleep we all needed even though it’s against all advice! I hope you can get some rest! Enjoy this time with your little girl!